With the power of hindsight, Clare wonders whether the complete hair loss she suffered at the age of 11 was her first symptom of multiple sclerosis. 

It wasn’t until more than a decade later, when she had studied health and was working as a honey production machinist, that she received her diagnosis.  With no one else in her family known to have had MS, Clare felt like the diagnosis she was handled was the worst possible scenario.  At least with something like cancer, she surmised, there may have been possibility of a cure.

On d-day, Clare returned home with the news, and her well-meaning partner immediately joked about wheelchairs.  The year that followed, Clare’s head was firmly buried in the sand.  In self proclaimed functioning alcoholic, Clare who described herself at that stage as a hermit, self-medicated in the worst way possible for her brain.

A diagnosis of MS is make or break – I was broken for the first year.  Then I decided that enough is enough.  I want to do something more with my life.

With two primary school aged children at the time, as well as managing a full time career which became increasingly challenging with her MS symptoms.

Clare took a step back and looked at her life. 

Health had always been of interest, and Clare decided to utilise her own challenges and capabilities to help others, and train as an Occupational Therapist.  She undertook her studies during the challenging lockdown years.

Clare works 40 hours per week as a Mental Health Occupational Therapist.  It’s a demanding community-facing role which has intentionally forced Clare outside her comfort zone.   Working days are planned a little around energy levels, conducting demanding home visits in the mornings with office work in the afternoon.  Fatigue and cognitive fog are Clare’s most stable systems, together with total sensational change down her left side, and her left leg being a ‘ghost limb’.  She also deals with foot drop issues.

Clare wrestling

Clare couldn’t sit on the sidelines! 

With her two busy children, Dominic and Natalie, and their various activities, Clare found herself supporting Dominic’s new-found sport, wrestling.   Natalie quickly decided to give wrestling a go too, and Clare couldn’t sit on the sidelines!  She started joining in the warmups, then progressed to full training.

That was just under two years ago.  Now, Clare trains six days per week.  Upon finishing work and collecting her kids, she undertakes a rigorous 2 ½ – 3 hours of training.  This typically involves a half hour warm up followed by fighting then strength and conditioning training.  Mobility, speed, power and strength are all key ingredients of wrestling – but the essential ingredient is psychological strength.

Now, she claims to feel the best she has since diagnosis, and thinks this has to do with her fitness and the high intensity exercise she goes through.  She has even lost the sensory pain when entering cold water! 

Clare looking happy with NZ flag and medal

Clare’s opponents are able bodied which gives Clare a buzz. 

Clare loves food but maintaining her weight (57kgs) is essential to her sport.  She eats clean food, less carbs, no sugar (a change from the old Clare!) and high protein.

Everyone has a negative, self-doubting inner voice.  I love to show mine that it’s wrong!  And I’m in control.   

Clare is about to travel to Guam to compete in the Oceania Wrestling Champs.  She hopes to beat the Bronze medal she gained last year.

What’s the driver?  To show her kids and others that anything is possible.  Set your mind to something, and follow through with your dedication, thoughts and reasonings.

Without MS, I wouldn’t have my career in occupational therapy, my wrestling, and for making me push myself.  I push myself outside my comfort zone.

Where to next? 

Clare’s dream is to go to the Olympic qualifiers this year. 

If I hadn’t got MS, I’d certainly have a more narrow view of the world.  MS has made me see everything a couple of shades lighter.  I don’t take things for granted – no day is promised to us!

I’m glad it’s me and not someone else with this diagnosis.  I’m completely stubborn!

 

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